(please refer to picture enclosed)
This story starts with a glorious trip to Waaashington, DC (aka the place people go to get there stuff stolen). While driving up to this nether world L Mac and Billy Bob stopped to get gas when the unthinkable happened. Sally (the Jeep) did not start. Dismayed by the occurrence Billy bob decide to talk to Sally about her failures. Sally did not respond kindly and needed the help of Jumping Jack Jumper Cables to get her back on the road.
Billy Bob deduced that there was no conceivable way that it could be the OPTIMA battery that could have died. Thus, he began an intensive investigation. He tested all the wires and determined that the voltage was right from every location. The situation left the only culprit to be the OPITMA. So against his better judgment Billy Bob took the battery to be test.
When he arrived to the store he was met with the statement "we can't test that battery it will blow up the building". Billy bob thoughts ran wild "is this some bomb that through the ingenuity of man has been sealed into a battery so that Sally my have all the power that one would ever dream for?!!" "NO" Billy reserves his thoughts and asked the man if he can just get him a battery that will get him home. Of course in this hour of shame the Energiser Bunny is the one that comes to the rescue. The battery is installed and the problem is fixed but Sally may never be the same. Luckily Billy bob did not turn in the OPTIMA for a core rebate and is planning on putting it on a slow trickle charge to bring it back to life.
So beware, the OPTIMA might still reunite with Sally to run again on the great thoroughfares known as the American highway.
1 comment:
Actually Billy, I've found a way to reconcile this story with two fundamental truths: 1) That something will get stolen any time you go to Washington D.C. and 2) That the Optima battery is the greatest invention since sliced bread.
My theory is that while you were in D.C. someone stole your real Optima battery and replaced it with a fake Optima battery. A real Optima battery would last at least 50 years driving uphill both ways to school in the snow, but the fake one couldn't even start your car at the gas pump. We won't get into details like whether you were even in D.C. before the battery failed, because it's better for the story. So in the future this will be the new McNeill story on this issue.
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